Pause & Rewind: Pets mean Practice

I’ve previously written about my use of pets as preparationfor parenthood, such as placing my pet turtle on an exercise regime to “prevent him getting fat”. My cat Matilda has taken this form of preparation to new levels over the past month which were it not too late, would have probably put me off parenthood altogether.

Already she had been a brought with her a big change to the house, and once I got over the realization that my wife probably loved the cat more than me,  I thought I was ready for kids. Wrong.

We took her to get sterilized as she has been housebound for her own safety since she so magically entered our lives. Her first heat was a brutal affair which ended with the local tomcat (who my wife also suspects as being her father) forcing his way through a mosquito blind to do the deed. Still, you can’t get pregnant off your first time…

The concept of the "open door" surgery was taken too literally

Halfway through the sterilization, which is taking place in a vet’s clinic that opens directly on to a busy traffic junction, the doctor puts his head through the door (actually there is no door, so he just took a step to his left): “do you know your cat is pregnant”? He says this with an intense look of distaste. Shit. I now come across as the most responsible father in the clinic (considering the clinic is practically on the pavement, there are a lot of candidates to compare myself against). Is this how easy it is to be judged once you are a parent?

The newspaper being used was fresh

For the record, I did not actually think she was pregnant. My wife is pregnant and it is a lot more noticeable on her. The vet continues: “I need to stop the procedure to save the kittens. In our country we do not like to abort kittens, as it brings complications and it is not right. But you are a foreigner, so I am giving you the option.”

Shit. Is the doctor telling me that I will piss off some Buddhist ritual by having kittens aborted (with a secondary implication that I am some kind of animal-heathen-monster), or is there actually a health risk for Matilda? Are these the kind of regular moral-health-life-medical-judgement-inducing snap decisions that I’m going to make as a father?

I take her home in her basket, and she is still severely sedated by the anesthetic. In the taxi home, I get a phone call from a friend: “fancy a Friday night drink?” Well yes, but I explain the situation and make my excuses, I have a cat to take care of after all. He makes an inappropriate joke that I find completely lacking in compassion with regard to the cat and immature on his behalf. Is this cancellation and alienation of my social life something that is also going to happen to me so quickly as a new father?

My wife arrives home and I fill her in on the procedure. She is concerned, but is pleased with the decision I took regarding the complications and not upsetting the animal spirits (thank God): “didn’t you ask about when we can get her round of vaccinations done also?” she asks me. So I have to go through the whole kitten-abortion story, and now I’m in trouble for forgetting to enquire about the vaccinations. No idea what this relates to in parenthood (forgetfulness?) but its another form of judgement I’m not looking forward to exposing myself to.